


How Alcohol Ruined the Whole Evening

by MellytheHun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Derek Uses His Words, Drunk Stiles, Fluff, M/M, Scallison, Wedding Night, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3225656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellytheHun/pseuds/MellytheHun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scallison wedding AU wherein Stiles gets drunk and Derek is bad at feelings, for the prompt ”i’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so i don’t ruin my friends wedding," that mad-madam-m gave me on tumblr!</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Alcohol Ruined the Whole Evening

"Oh, Derek,” Stiles groans uncomfortably, leaning nearly all his weight onto Derek’s side.

Derek looks to him and wonders when and where Stiles may have lost his tie. Stiles’ eyes are glassy and focused blearily on Allison and Scott waltzing.

He doesn’t look at Derek when he warns, "You gotta get me outta here. I’m about to start weeping loudly about being replaced."

Derek nods, believing it and starts leading the way out of the reception hall. Stiles bumps into enough people and inanimate objects that Derek decides it’d be safer for everyone if he just carried Stiles out.

Stiles is so trashed that he doesn’t argue with being manhandled.

While Derek passes conspicuous rubber-neckers, Stiles mutters from over his shoulder, "I’m upside down. Ugh. Your shoulder is digging into my fuckin’ pancreas. I’m in pain. Everything is spinning."

"Stiles," Derek sighs and demands without any heat, "Shut up."

"Will I ever not be dizzy?" Stiles asks, like Derek isn’t even there, "Will I ever be upright? I don’t even remember what it was like to be the ground. On it. On the ground. I don’t have any feeling in my toes. This is just who I am now. A sad, nauseous, sexually repressed, upside-down man."

"Stiles," Derek repeats as a warning.

Stiles sighs wetly and tells Derek tragically, “I’m _replaced_ , dude. I’m _sad_. I’m happy for them but like, also, Scott is my best friend and now the Stiles and Scott show is over. We got cancelled. Probably by CBS. And this is literally the closest I’ll ever be to your ass. So, to tap — cap, I meant - mean, I mean, to cap. Oh my God, to _recap_ , I’m the best man who gets no action, drank until the buzz turned into that sad whistle noise that happens whenever Wile E. Coyote falls off a mountain cliff and I’ve lost my best friend who has found more consolation and happiness in a well-groomed vagina than in the arms of his best bud.”

By the time Stiles’ tangent is over, Derek has gotten them outside.

He quirks a brow at Stiles’ ass that’s fitted over his shoulder and he asks, "Well-groomed?"

He feels Stiles try to shrug.

"It’s never been stated and I’ve definitely never seen it, but she seems like the type of person to spend time on grooming. I met a girl at Berkley who shaved the hair on her vag in the shape of a heart. Like, Allison wouldn’t do that, but she’s probably weirdly meticulous like that."

Derek rolls his eyes and helps slide Stiles off him and onto his feet again. He brushes Stiles’ shoulders off and straightens Stiles’ jacket by the lapels. Stiles is slouching and so he seems shorter than he really is and sadder than Derek really knows how to comfort.

"Are you too drunk to dance?"

Stiles is intrigued by the question and shakes his head, determined to dance with Derek if that’s where this is going. Derek extends his hand and on the stone patio of the venue, in the moonlight, they slow dance to the muted instrumentals coming from inside. The glow from the venue reaches them, but the air is still better lit with the starlight and fireflies and while Stiles’ face is tucked into the crook of Derek’s neck, he hears and feels Derek say,

"You’re sad. It’s the end of an era."

Stiles feels that depressing sinking sensation again.

Derek adds, "But that means it’s the beginning of a new one. Scott loves you and you can’t be replaced. You’ll never be replaced."

They stop swaying so that Stiles can look him in the eye, body still heavy and mostly uncoordinated. Derek’s eyes are sparkling at him and his heart feels a little lighter.

He asks,"Yeah?"

Derek nods and comments, “And if it’s any consolation, we all find solace and happiness in you.”

Stiles’ lips move like he might smile and Derek says,

“ _I_ find happiness in you.”

Stiles’ eyebrows do something Derek can’t replicate, making him laugh softly.

He brushes his hand through Stiles’ combed hair and tells him, "I wouldn’t be opposed to you getting closer to my ass either."

Stiles’ eyes widen and his entire body straightens, sobriety suddenly fighting for the surface of his brain.

He grabs onto Derek’s arms, as if to keep balance and he asks, "Oh my God, are you serious? Is that an invitation? I want to RSVP. Now. Immediately."

"No," Derek smirks, "Not while you’re drunk."

Stiles throws his head back and groans loudly in annoyance,

"Alcohol has ruined everything this evening."

He stops complaining when he feels Derek’s mouth on his exposed neck. His breath gets caught somewhere in his chest and he looks somehow drunker on lust than whiskey when they meet eyes again.

Derek bumps their noses together lovingly and he offers, "This is forward of me, but maybe the Scott and Allison show can just be played back-to-back with the Derek and Stiles show. Maybe we’ll get picked up by ABC."

Stiles grins at him, face growing redder by the moment. Stiles nods and asks,

"I know I’m drunk, but can I please get a kiss? I’m totally sober enough to know I want that."

Derek contemplates it for a quick moment before answering by pressing his mouth warmly against Stiles’.

Whiskey is a strong scent, but not nearly as overpowering as Stiles’ bubbling joy.


End file.
